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ask a sub
95. The World Needs Male Subs
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95. The World Needs Male Subs

Looootttttaaaaaa feelings about gender this week, huh folks? We’re discussing the “gender wars,” how you can assist in the political apocalypse, and how to embrace one’s identity as a male submissive.

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Twitter | @Lina.Dune | @askasub2.0

CREDITS

Created, Hosted, Produced and Edited by Lina Dune

With Additional Support from Mr. Dune

Artwork by Kayleigh Denner

Music by Dan Molad

Discussion about this podcast

I appreciated the mention of how often submissive men in media are portrayed as evil, powerful CEOs -- this seems like a rich vein of media criticism on how we think about gender, money, and power. That particular narrative has almost become cliche in certain realms of "prestige TV" and psychological thrillers (which to be clear, I do still eat up despite feeling conflicted about, haha).

On the one hand, this stereotype acknowledges that consensually giving up power requires having some power to give, and that the roles people play in kink are different from the roles they play in the rest of their lives. On the other hand, it feels like it risks portraying kink, especially masculine submission and feminine dominance, as some uniquely bizarre perversion of the ultra-wealthy, a "decadent" luxury activity for nefarious 1%-ers. Weird rich people shit, basically.

Kink IS weird, but I think most people who practice it IRL understand that it's also so deeply normal and cuts across all walks of life. Signed, a humble paycheck-to-paycheck freak

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love this 🙏

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I feel you put something in powerful words about male submissiveness. It takes strength to be a male sub. It takes strength to go out and go against the social norm and find the kind of relationship you want. It takes strength to be able to endure dozens of lashes of the bullwhip (as I want and enjoy in my relationship). When I think about my experiences in submission, I don't feel I was a loser to have been brought to a secret karaoke bar and stripped naked by the mistress who ran an underground bar. I don't think I'm a loser to have a dominant girlfriend who knows exactly how to pleasure me and does it often. I think I must have done something right to get these things.

I do engage in humiliation kinks in the context of role play sometimes, and I can't say that kind of plot doesn't titillate me from time to time in erotica. But in my latest series, Domination Diaries, I try to represent the authentic experience of my relationship as a male sub. I focused on including the romance and showing how Queen Nazz cares for me.

The questioner also asked about how to find a female dominant in a world where many dominant women ask for tributes. I feel sub men must not give up. Working as a dominatrix professionally is a legit business and there's a place for men who want to experience being dominated to go for it with a pro domme if they want, as long as they know their status as a customer. The problem is the scammers on Instagram and the women who lead naive men to think that just giving money is the same thing as being in a D/s relationship (and those naive men hold some responsibility for buying into that idea).

Men who want to have a dominant girlfriend in an everyday relationship can find a dominant girlfriend by meeting women in real life and on dating apps but being mindful about it.

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ask a sub
ask a sub
Ask a Sub is an advice podcast for the kink-curious to take themselves from dreaming to doing. Our host Lina Dune is bringing wellness kink to the masses, and equipping every would-be kinkster with the tools to become their own BDSM BFF.