Dr. Lina's Scene Stealers
sub hacks from eight years in the saddle
Now that I’ve been a practicing sub for ~8 years, I have decided I have doctorate in Filth. I am now Dr. Lina Dune, PhD (D pronounced loudly in the way you’d say it in middle school to indicate Dick).
As such, I feel it’s time to check in and share some of my top tips and tricks learned in my time on all fours.
PRE CARE
Your headspace is very important pre-scene, and there’s nothing less sexy than being on your phone. To keep myself grounded, I like to bring my makeup supplies to the floor in front of a mirror and make a longform ritual out of the process, using at least 3-5 different brushes and all the proper primers. If the eyeliner gets wobbly… start over! It’s always good to have a sub archetype in mind as you’re curating your apotheosis — I aim for early Lana Del Rey / The Love Witch.
I love an aftercare treat, so if it won’t stress me out too much I also like to do some simple baking. Even if it’s just plopping pre-frozen balls of cookie dough on a sheet it can really make your home feel homey.
I have learned the hard way that cooking fish or anything roasted / super smoky in the home before a scene is a real vibe killer. Simmered soups are great, though, and again give cookie-like ambience.
YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE
This one is especially for my impact bottoms and rope/bondage bunnies: moisturize your temple! I like a very plain body lotion (current go-to is Hatomugi, which I get at the Japanese grocery store) and then I seal it in with a light oil (I like Bio Oil for this). Nobody wants to come out of a scene feeling chafed, so preparation is important.
Speaking of your one and only precious body, one thing we are NOT doing is blowing our knees out to seem cool and tough in a scene. Pad those fuckers up with a mini shearling rug from Ikea, or a yoga mat, or even a meditation stool.
Drink water — but make it a treat. Lately I’ve been dumping trader joe’s immunity shots into my giant yeti and I drink out of glass straws. I did another hydration hack post linked below. I’m working on a warm one for winter.
Good Subs Stay Hydrated
As subs, we know THIRST. Whether you’re playing with heavy masochism and need to keep your body happy or simply panting for it until your mouth gets too dry, the minute you become a sub you have a new relationship to water. Every blog post I ever read once I started looking into aftercare repeated the same refrain — stay hydrated.