"BDSM helps us turn on the light in the proverbial haunted houses of our own minds, our families of origin, what have you, and look at everything there for what it is, evaluating the true threats from the ones projecting their looming shadows on the wall." ugh yes this is one of the things that I love about BDSM.
Oh my goodness, this is so helpful! I have a very similar story re: brief encounters with horror as kid then deciding “fuck this, life is scary enough.” I echoed your exact analysis. But this year for some reason I’ve felt compelled to push myself to watch scarier things than usual, with my partner (who is my Dom, but we’re in a rebuilding trust moment so it’s complicated). I’ve been regretting it as I am once again legitimately afraid of the dark, but it’s also meant I have to ask my partner to go with me to the basement and protect me if I have to pee in the middle of the night. Of course I want this!!!! Duh/lightbulb moment. And especially this, so on point: “The point of this (and all of life by extension, maybe?)…was to be afraid sometimes and realize you’re not going to die.” Yes!
"BDSM helps us turn on the light in the proverbial haunted houses of our own minds, our families of origin, what have you, and look at everything there for what it is, evaluating the true threats from the ones projecting their looming shadows on the wall." ugh yes this is one of the things that I love about BDSM.
You’re such a talented human and fantastic resource for kinky folks with trauma. Well written!
You’re such an incredible writer!!
thank you so much!! 🩷
Oh my goodness, this is so helpful! I have a very similar story re: brief encounters with horror as kid then deciding “fuck this, life is scary enough.” I echoed your exact analysis. But this year for some reason I’ve felt compelled to push myself to watch scarier things than usual, with my partner (who is my Dom, but we’re in a rebuilding trust moment so it’s complicated). I’ve been regretting it as I am once again legitimately afraid of the dark, but it’s also meant I have to ask my partner to go with me to the basement and protect me if I have to pee in the middle of the night. Of course I want this!!!! Duh/lightbulb moment. And especially this, so on point: “The point of this (and all of life by extension, maybe?)…was to be afraid sometimes and realize you’re not going to die.” Yes!
it’s just another space to be vulnerable! 🩷