I Am Sexually Attracted To The Demon In Insidious

just felt like I needed to put that out there

I’ve probably told you guys about this before, but in the first year of mine and Mr. Dune’s D/s dynamic, we went to Hollywood Horror Nights at Universal Studios. This is a famed LA event, wherein Universal trots out every horror property they own and makes cheap haunted houses out of each. I say cheap not because they’re not well-decorated, but because there’s no narrative. It’s just jump scares. I had a horrible time with haunted houses back then, and was cowering as we entered each room. Then we came through one maze, and I can’t remember for the life of me what movie it was from, but the main room was decorated with BDSM equipment rather than the standard cobwebby hospital accouterment¹. Our shoulders dropped, our nervous systems regulated. We were home. The other attendees flinched in anticipation; we felt suddenly like we were among friends.

Obviously we experience this kind of tripped wire with the Hellraiser franchise as well (and will be discussing this month on our podcast within a podcast, Over The Knee with Lina & Mr. Dune — get it with a paid subscription), but even unexpected horror movies will do this for us. Case in point: Insidious. Listen, I come to the Insidious franchise already horny because Patrick Wilson’s ability to Handle Shit with a creased brow is very my jam, see also:

In Praise Of Men With Real Faces

The content of the film is of little importance, it’s a low-budget horror in a house. To quote Wikipedia, “the story centers on a couple whose son inexplicably enters a comatose state and becomes a vessel for ghosts in an astral plane.” Paranormal investigators come, and the big baddie The Red Demon must be faced head on. The only way to save the son from the ghosts is for Patrick Wilson to get put into a trance and enter a space on the astral plane called ‘The Further,’ where he “finds his way to Dalton [the son], encountering multiple perilous and horrifying ghosts along the way.”

Our first glimpse of the Red Demon is genuinely terrifying. I screamed. It’s a great jump scare when he suddenly appears behind Patrick Wilson’s head:

HE’S NOT HOT, OK?? I AM AWARE!! The hair is yucky and inexplicably pointy, obviously the Darth Maul makeup is disturbing, the earring tells a story of a past life as a Seattle barista, he’s got hunchy shoulders and goat pupils — it’s not a sensual energy. However, when we finally see him in his natural habitat in The Further… there’s a rizz to him:

Even if you are a baby like me, there’s nothing particularly scary about this clip. The Red Demon is hanging out in his cunty studio apartment sharpening his metal fingernails menacingly. The “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” song is unnerving, but not scary in my opinion. It feels like we’ve stumbled upon his self care routine, his Secret Single Behavior, if you will.

I don’t fully understand my attraction to him, but to quote Joan Didion, “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking.” So let’s start here, he’s an idiosyncratic guy with a specific sense of personal style and obviously a self-care routine to a certain extent. He’s misunderstood. He’s an outcast. He’s a collector of odd objects. Maybe he made those clown marionettes himself! A king with a hobby! I think when you really boil it down, he’s giving Mr. Grey. No, not that one. The original:

James Spader being an absolute grade-A freak in Secretary (2002)

P.S. if you’re a secretary fan…

Subby Movie Sub Club - Secretary - with Mr. Dune [full interview]

All this to say, Halloween is a safe space for freaks.

However, I still need solidarity so if any of you have “hear me out” style crushes on figures from the horror canon, I’m gonna need you to drop them in the comments.

---

None of this free content would be possible without the kind support of the sexy, smart folks who have chosen to subscribe to the paid side of this substack or to Patreon.

If you’d like to receive special content such as monthly hour-long Deep Dive interviews with experts across the kink and alternative sexuality worlds, as well as monthly premium written posts, upgrade your membership here. For a preview of everything you’ll get instant access to, go here.

To get free access to the paid content, get into referring your friends! More info here.

Reserve your spot at ask a sub office hours here.

Check out my online courses:
Kink Tasting Menu - Start from scratch and taste your way through the buffet of kink!
Conscious Kink - Build Your Own D/s Dynamic
Sub Survival Guide - Learn How To Make Your Submissive Fantasies A Reality

Got a question for me? Submit it to the Ask A Sub podcast by recording a voice memo and emailing it to podcast@askasub.com.

1. this word is spelled fucking crazy - has anyone else ever seen this written out?? the fuck!!