The Kinkiest Gift Guide
I know what you people want
There are so many cute gift guides going around, but what do you get for the freaks? What do you give the polycule who has everything?? Check under your seats, because you get a kinky rec, you get a kinky rec, and YOU get a kinky rec!!
All the Stockroom links and book links give me a % of your purchase.
And absolutely no Amazon in sight because fuck that noise.
EXPERIENCES
I would be remiss if I did not highlight some Ask A Sub experiences for you! Get them for a friend, a partner, or the raccoon that sleeps under your bed (if he/she/they have an email address)!
Office Hours
Did you know that we can get on a Zoom one-on-one (or two-on-one!) and talk? I’ve supported people just beginning their kink journeys in their 20’s to people discovering a new world decades into a marriage; I’ve chatted with queer folks finding their identities, straight cis men who just want to be good and ethical partners, and fellow grems on their apotheosis to their most chaotic selves. Let’s plan scenes, connect after ruptures, and prep you for your best kinkiest life! And now I’m doing packages for singles and couples!!!
Book your session / buy your package here.
But don’t take my word for it! Read this testimonial…
Office hours with Lina was really lovely and helpful for me beyond what I had anticipated. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but in my conversation with Lina, she offered invaluable insights for me on my journey into kink and was extremely kind, funny, and supportive. Especially when we touched on topics like shame or insecurity, Lina had a real talent for reframing the things I was worried about and finding the positive in them. I came away thinking that if Lina represents the kind of community kink offers, I must be doing something right.
Courses
You’ve been hearing about the Ask A Sub courses, why not try them out? Enter code GIFTGUIDE40 at checkout for 40% off!! Only available to the first 50 buyers so go go go!
Kink Tasting Menu: for couples to break down big kink aspirations into bite-sized pieces. A comprehensive overview of my kink philosophy that has helped thousands, and chapters with the most common kinks for you to try. A great experiential gift to enjoy together!
Conscious Kink: want to set up a D/s dynamic with rules & punishments? This one’s for you!
Sub Survival Guide: Are you wanting to sub but you’re overwhelmed by entering the kink world? This is our slumber party where I’ll take your hand, help you make your dating profile, and walk you through the ins and outs of risk-aware consensual FUN.
Annual Ask A Sub Membership: Buy a gift membership to this Substack or to my Patreon! All levels include the ad-free podcast, and there are other goodies the higher up you go. Get two months free when you buy a year.
Ok now onto other people’s stuff…
OVERT SEX STUFF
You’ve heard most of these before but hey I’m gonna put some links in front of you to diminish decision fatigue!!!
Twisted Monk Rope: Mr. Dune and I discovered at our very first shibari class that both of our grass allergies made playing with hemp rope a living hell! So we turned to these guys and got a very luxe hemp-free alternative. They also have kits for beginners, like their cotton curiosity kit.
Neon Wand & Power Tripper: Ok so this is fucking crazy - you can get a violet wand (fun) and then this attachment that turns the wielder into the toy - their fingers can zap!!! Maybe it’s time to invest. Electro-play sounds wild but it’s actually a pretty low-risk option for sensory play and the wand can calibrate to your preferred intensity. Side note: the neon wand is originally a skincare tool! Dual purpose!
Dame Sex Blanket: Get messy!! And I love that this blanket comes in more colors than black.
My Favorite Crops: Happiest middle ground of stingy and thuddy there is. They make great marks. The Lolly Crop | The Ball Crop
Crystal Butt Plugs: They’re so cute! And often come in a box fitting for jewelry. It’ll be a fun surprise when your person opens it. These are swarovski. This one is for aliens. Valentine’s vibes. Barbie-coded. A trainer set you could give alongside an assignment.
LINGERIE
CantiqLA: slutty mesh lingerie size inclusive up to 6x. They also make binders and accessories for tucking and packing.
Solstice Intimates for those who want to be draped in velvet, or look like they’ve stolen a vintage car to drive out to Joshua Tree. They also have hot bodysuits fit for nursing! Pictured: Beloved Pirouette Set | See Also: Bloodlust Bralette | Dynomite Velvet Harness Thong
Blush Lingerie: for a more Parisian vibe. No idea if they’re even French but that’s what I get. Obsidian Bodysuit | Saint Bodysuit
Highly Liquid: As a child of the day-of-the-week underwear era, writing on panties will never not be fun to me. Pledge Your Fealty Thong | Yes, Chef Thong
Honorable Mentions: Toru & Naoko (Sustainable Bucolic Romance) | Belle De Nuit (Valley of The Dolls meets The Madonna Inn) | The End (where Hot Topic teens become slutty adults) | Miss Money Panties (high cut thongs for your Wolf Of Wall Street fantasies) | Empress Mimi (the witch that steps out of a painting on a European estate) | Naked Letters (sexy parchment paper) | Lottie J Lingerie (strappy & kinky & gender-inclusive) | Uye Surana (if you love Thistle & Spire but wanna support a small business)
LEATHER GEAR
A lot of leather gear is custom, so if you go that route give your sweetie a pic of what’s coming! Or opt for the many ready-to-ship options from these iconic designers.
Emma Alamo: Super hot, customizable, ethical leather, and Emma is constantly being targeted by online censorship, so let’s help out!! Classic O-Ring Collar | Service Switch Harness
Fruit Leather Fetish: for the colorful baby in your world. Customizable (including inscriptions) and size inclusive. Pictured: Custom Collar | Heartbreaker Paddle
Lupine Leather Co: for your pets! If you’re cold, they’re cold, bring them in! Pictured: Cowbell Collar | Red Fox Mask (both ready to ship)
Toi Ano: absolutely stunning metal work with an occasional Western flavor. Pictured: Bowser Cuff | Chain Jock | Colt Harness (Many options ready to ship)
Creepy Yeha: where couture meets leather. She also makes more affordable accessories like phone cases, cuffs, and collars. RenX Dress | Irving Belt
Restrained Grace: incredible day collars, kinky gifts, locks, and leashes. They’ve really upped their game since I last checked and I’m loving it. Back Strap | Engraveable Lock and Key | Ultra Discreet Double Layer Ring of O Day Collar
Honorable Mentions: Cornwall Stones (London-based, Medieval & Spiky) | Silent Emotions (TW: Clown Themed) | Wereoween (Nintendo Vibes) | Lust Latex (Hardcore Berlin Vibes, pictured in article photo at the top) | Gutter Scotch (Colorful in a Fisher-Price way) | Primal Leather (UK-Based Classics) | River Queer (Inspired and occasionally the best kind of f*cked up.)
Many of the honorable mentions come from our friend Gutter — get our Deep Dive interview about clown kink at the link below~
![125. The Clown Serenity Prayer with Gutter the Mod [full interview for paid subscribers]](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!2NvF!,w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa0e42ef6-1f43-4ae8-ab36-4c99761d33da_512x512.png)
BOOKS
Write an inscription on the first page or tape in a polaroid of your butt.
ON A SUNBEAM - for your queer friends with a lot of feelings. Or people who like space. Or gothic architecture. Really anyone cool.
COWBOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS - for your horny friend who has been Going Through It™ with men. Also Horse Girls of all genders.
THE FAGGOTS AND THEIR FRIENDS BETWEEN REVOLUTIONS - for whoever you’re starting a commune with.
ROBERT MAPPLETHORPE: THE PHOTOGRAPHS - for the person who wants to invite people up to see their etchings.
COMING TO POWER: WRITINGS AND GRAPHICS ON LESBIAN S/M - for the hardcore sapphic historian (this one is out of print and any copy you find will cost you - but owning it keeps it out of the hands of the right wing freaks who are buying up archival BDSM material and burning it 🙃)
SENSUAL VIBES
Everything Boy Smells: I need Hinoki Fantome to cum. Jk. But it’s still a vibe. Boy Smells are also making a poppers-inspired fragrance now, which I haven’t smelled but I salute them for the boldness. Apply while listening to ‘Rush’ by Troye Sivan.
Eileen West Nightgowns: I can’t exactly explain why, but these feel like the sluttiest lingerie I own. It’s giving free use by candlelight. Pictured: Victorian Dreams Nightgown | Heirloom Dream Chemise
Candle warmer: these are great for heating up play candles too! Would be an iconically clean vibe with the Agreeable Agony pourable wax play candles. No fire needed. And the candle girlies will love. Here are a few picks from Etsy: Retro Green Candle Warmer | Electric Candle Plate | Marble Candle Warmer
Yay For Earth Golden Face & Body Oil: A lover gave me this, and even though she’s no longer around (😢), this is still one of my favorite scents. Smells like a sapphic make-out session on a picnic blanket in the sun. If this is your vibe you might also love Bathing Culture, which captures the energy of a Northern CA redwood forest.
FOR THE WITCHES
Because I know you’re here.
The Cerulean Sequence Oracle Deck: I picked this up at Luca Essentials recently and am loving it.
Cosmic Slumber Tarot: This is the most tender tarot deck I own and I bonded with it immediately. My favorite graphic novelist Tillie Walden created it, and it invites you into a world of dreams. I absolutely adore how non-binary and queer the vibes are and you will too.
CRAFTY SHIT
You people are out there too.
Cyanotyping Set: can be fun to immortalize kink gear, panties, pressed flowers, whatever! These pre-treated cards are great for beginners.
THE WOMEN’S DAY BOOK OF GRANNY SQUARES AND CARRY ALONG CROCHET - by far my favorite crochet book ever featuring iconic granny squares and ridiculous 70’s items like a granny square dog sweater.
DONATIONS
If they’re a “donate in my name” type of guy here are some great orgs:
The Carter-Johnson Library: Two Black queer elders buying up and preserving BDSM texts and archival materials to keep them out of the hands of fascists. More on them and their mission here.
SWOP & SWOP Behind Bars: Full Decrim Now!!! I’ve had a recurring monthly donation to the latter going for years and years now.
Red Canary Song: Working at the intersection of immigration rights and SW decrim, and supported by friend of the pod Empress Wu. One of the most scandalous Deep Dives we’ve ever done was with her, and we also talked about this org:
Chicago Leather Archives & Museum: As it sounds! Check ‘em out.
Happy gifting, freaks!!!
And don’t forget about all the ask a sub deals above, including buying a gift membership to this Substack or Patreon, office hours packages, and courses! The first 50 people to buy get 40% off any and all courses using code GIFTGUIDE40 at checkout.
xo Lina
If you want popper perfume, Filippo Sorcinelli!
Literally reading this with a copy of “The Faggots and their friends” next to me